We read an interesting article this week called Family Work (found in the BYU magazine in the Spring of 2000).  It talked about how the family environment has changed since the 1800’s. During that time it was very common that the work of providing for a family was family work.  While dad might primarily take care of the outside work of planting and caring for animals and mom might primarily take care of cooking, preserving food, etc. all of the work was shared.  The kids worked alongside both mom and dad. Boys were taught how to become men of integrity through daily prolonged example. Over time, there was a shift. Money to purchase goods others made became important.  Children wanted more schooling to pursue careers in the sciences, etc. This shift started to separate the family for much of the day. Dad went off to work in the factory, mine, or mill for many hours each day. Children went to school.  Mom was home to care for the home and younger children. A deeper division in roles formed and sadly the role that brought in the money became paramount in the minds of many. Family work or the work of the home became “women’s” work and was often devalued.

We know that not everything revolving around this revolution is bad.  Many discoveries and technologies have been discovered that have blessed many lives. The question is what we are going to do with those blessings.  When we have technology that minimizes efforts to do our work, what do we do with that extra time? Work is a building influence in individuals and families.  it also has the potential to unify families. We still want work in our lives even if the nature of the work is different than in the past. Have you ever had one of those weekends where everyone is feeling low on energy and you end up binge watching Netflix for most of a Saturday?  How did you feel after? Usually there is a feeling of disconnect. Disconnect from family, from God, even from your own mind. Compare that to a day of work or wholesome recreation with your family. When we use our bodies, as many senses as we can, to do something productive, we feel empowered.  We feel closer to those we did the activities with. We feel energized and accomplished!

How do we recapture some of the closeness and opportunities that families had when working together?  One of my favorite ideas is to follow the counsel of our prophets and plant a garden. A family garden gives the whole family the opportunity to work together. It helps teach the law of the harvest to our children.  You reap what you sow. 

Another idea is to include children in the chores of a home.  We have tried in our family to do this in many ways over the years.  Some have been more successful than others. Most recently, we agree on a specified amount of time to work on cleaning up the house and then everyone puts in their best effort for that time.  This allows everyone to contribute at their level. I have loved this. It gives me an opportunity to work alongside my kids. It also allows them to use their interests and strengths. For the most part, everyone is allowed to choose the area they want to clean.  You just jump in and get started. I have noticed more unity from our efforts and less fighting over the chore routine. I am hoping that it is seen as a shared family event instead of a monotonous to-do list. 

I think one other place we can work to recapture the “family work” idea of the past is to have husband and wife communicate and work together in their roles as much as possible.  The husband may ask the wife her preferences on where he works, what hours he’ll work, if he’ll come home for lunch, or if he’ll commute or not (these may not always be choices we’ll have, but often they can be).  The wife can counsel with her husband about the children, the family budget, and what recreational activities to do with the family. The more the couple includes each other in their roles, the more they belong to the family instead of being “his” or “hers”.  

What do you do in your family to maintain family cohesion despite our busy separate schedules?